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Astrology and Intimacy
People look to the stars to find answers to many things but the first and
foremost question that astrologers are asked is often about love life.
Relationships are a huge part of a fulfilled life. In fact, when we look at a
chart there are four major areas of life that correspond with four major cusps.
These cusps are called the angles and they represent our identity, our home, our
relationship, and our career or social standing. Fully one quarter of the chart
is occupied with information about our primary relationship and that makes love
a big topic!
When looking at relationship and intimacy issues in the chart, the elements are
of the utmost importance - not only the planetary elements – meaning which signs
the planets are in – but also the elemental quality of the houses that the
planets occupy. For instance, a person with three natal planets in Cancer may be
elementally Water, but if all of the three planets were placed in the fifth
house, this person would have a strongly Fire persona, because the fifth house
is the natural house of Leo.
After considering the full elemental identity of a specific chart we can look to
the elements to help define what a person most deeply needs for relationship
success. Each one of the elemental “styles” is going to have its own particular
expression of love and it will also have a certain idea about how love is best
received. So, whether we are Fire, Air, Water, or Earth in our approach to
relationships will strongly influence the way we love and the success of a
particular couple.
The elemental types are fairly simple and that makes them great models for
understanding how we operate in the realm of relationship intimacy.
Fire types are the enthusiasts. They
are filled with passion and creativity. In relationships they need praise and
recognition. Without these, their fundamental needs as a Fire will not be met
and the relationship will be hard to hold onto.
Air types are thinkers. They are
curious and desire information. In relationships they need freedom of thought
and lots of personal space. When these are missing, there can be trouble in
paradise.
Water types are emotional. They are
imaginative and care-taking. In relationships they need emotional validation and
reassurances. Lacking in this kind of support and understanding, Water will dry
up and the relationship will suffer the same fate.
And Earth types are practical. They
produce tangible results with their dependable natures. In relationships they
need reliable and grounded support. Without that they will feel unstable and
unhappy and the relationship will be difficult to prolong.
There is another aspect to
understanding relationships from an elemental perspective and that comes from
the nature of intimacy itself. Intimacy is a process of revealing who we are to
another person. When we are intimate we show ourselves to someone else. This
does not just apply to sex, but also covers emotional intimacy as well.
Revealing who we are is a very delicate endeavor. It requires trust, patience,
honesty and time.
Many people want to be more honest in
relationships but are not sure what that means. They end up acting out because
the process of being honest is frightening and confusing. By understanding our
elemental style we gain insight into what parts of our personality we might need
to be honest about. This makes the success of a relationship possible. Fire
works on being demanding and overpowering. Air works on being dismissive and
scattered. Water works on jealousy or grudge holding behavior, and Earth works
on rigidity and stern rule following.
By seeing and knowing our full
elemental personality makeup we can create better relationships through intimacy
and self-knowledge. One case study involves a woman with no natal Air in her
chart yet a strong quality of elemental Air in her relationship needs.
As a person with four natal planet in
Water and four natal planets in Earth, you might think that M is a strong
Water/Earth personality type, and in fact she does have these qualities in her
character. However, the ruler of her house of relationships, the 7th, is Uranus.
She has Uranus in Virgo in the third house along with three other prominently
places planets, Mars, Pluto, and the Moon. The third house is the natural house
of Gemini and M’s need for communication and detail-oriented yet inventive
dialogue is enormous.
While she might appear to be more of
an Earth, Water or even Fire type at first glance, a closer look reveals a
deeper picture of Air when we take into account a complete look at her chart.
A stable Earthy person would be a
great partner for M, but only if they can also communicate with her and share
her sense of humor. This, more Airy person, will turn out to be the kind of
partnership that has more lasting appeal.
When working with natal charts be
sure to include a look at the elements when attempting to understand
relationship needs and the search for a lasting relationship. In the end, we all
have a desire to meet our deeper needs for love and those needs are neatly seen
in an astrological chart. What are those needs? They are unique to you and
they’re elemental!
Dr. Craig Martin is an astrologer and spiritual counselor living in Los Angeles.
He is the author of “Elemental Love Styles: Find Compatibility and Create a
Lasting Relationship”. He has been most recently featured on The Millionaire
Matchmaker, The Daily Buzz and Women’s World. His work focuses most strongly on
couples, marriage and intimacy issues. He can be reached at
www.doctorcraig.com
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